


Talks Like A Gentleman

by uncensoredsideblog



Series: Meet Cute Series [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Stucky - Freeform, although i dont think it matters much, basically bucky is a chatty drunk, phone calls lead to bf am i right, post ws, steve is a nice boy who listens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 09:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4619844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncensoredsideblog/pseuds/uncensoredsideblog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘I was really drunk and your number was on the bathroom stall so I called you and moaned about my life, now I feel really guilty and embarrassed and oh god I’m sorry’ AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talks Like A Gentleman

**Author's Note:**

> Title shamelessly taken from The Killers - When You Were Young   
> dedicated to Chris Evans laugh bc holy hell that is a thing of beauty

Draining the last of the brown liquid in his glass, Bucky slammed it down onto the bar counter and signalled for another. He doesn’t know how many he’s had at this point, all he knows is that he feels light and almost like he’s living life in slow motion. He feels not quite good but getting there.

The bright flickering lights of the club and deafening music were the culprits behind Bucky’s growing headache, he needed to get out of there and fast. Spotting his friends somewhere or the other, he decided they could live without him for a bit.

He stumbled , _gracefully of course,_ into the bathroom and leant against the sink. Looking at his reflection, he couldn’t help but cringe a little, his eyes were glassed over with dark circles adorning his skin, work had been tough lately, there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead that caused thin wisps of hair to stick to him. Yeah he looked a mess, _a hot mess though._

Suddenly overcome with the urge to pee, _isn’t that why I came here,_ he shoulder barged an empty stall and meandered in. _Shit, this stall is covered in graffiti._ He looked at the collection of poorly drawn penises, people’s names in hearts and the occasional ‘(blank) was here’. Among the local art, there was a phone number surrounded by hearts and a very good drawing of the suggestive face emoji.  

Well if that isn’t impressive then what is. Completely forgetting his bladder for a moment, he fingered his phone and typed out of the number. He had to compliment this person on their emoji drawing skills right away. He just had to.

It rang and rang and rang. It didn’t occur to Bucky that this number may be old or fake or belong to a 50 yr old man with shady tendencies. Finally someone picked up and Bucky didn’t know what he was expecting but a deep ass, smooth as honey voice wasn’t it.

“Hello,” the voice said. Bucky had privately named him impressive emoji guy.

He probably should’ve said hello back but that would’ve been almost normal and Bucky may be a lot of things but predictable was never one of them so instead what came out was “I need to pee.”

The man laughed, a loud, bordering on obnoxious laugh that really shouldn’t have made Bucky grin but did. “You called me because you needed to pee, can I ask who this is?”

“No no no no no, I called because dude, holy shit, dude you can draw emojis, like that’s fucking amazing, I cant draw emojis, they have weird faces ya know, so its hard.” Bucky explained awe dripping from his voice. “Oh and I’m Bucky, s’nice to meet you mister, wait what did you say you were called?”

There was that laugh again, the man clarified that he never in fact told Bucky his name and that he was actually called Steve. He then proceeded to ask how a stranger had gotten his number in the first place which caused Bucky to retell the thrilling story of how he was admiring the sharpie dicks and saw a very impressively drawn emoji with a number next to it and how he just had to call.

“Ohhhh I know what you’re talking about now. I was drunk, blame my friends, it was, just all their fault,” Steve had no idea why he was bothering to explain himself to a complete stranger but it seemed right and Steve certainly didn’t want a tainted reputation of those people who advertise themselves for hook ups in club bathroom stalls.

Bucky giggles at his response because he was drunk too, that’s such a coincidence and he told Steve as much. When Steve asked ‘shouldn’t you get back to your friends or whoever you came with’, Bucky full on pouted.

He whimpered into the phone, “Steve, Steve my friends are having fun, they won’t notice, I’ve stopped having fun now, I-I think I’m sad.”

“Well what are you sad about?”

He just had to utter those words. To both of the men’s surprise, Bucky had become a verbal fountain, divulging everything wrong with his life from his neighbours cat that always hisses at him to that one guy at work who looks at him funny, “like I don’t know if he likes me or if, if he just stares me out for fun but I feel like violated ya know? You just cant do that, you cant.”

He could hear the frown in this Steve’s voice, could imagine his brows furrowing a little, “have you told anyone Bucky? I’m sure he would atleast get a warning.” Steve was met by silence. He thought the stranger on the phone had hung up on him, which is a shame because now he really felt bad for this guy. Some people were creepy as hell and Steve has been known to get involved when pushy guys get too pushy.

“Why do I attract freaks Steve?” Bucky asked like a petulant child. It was at that moment, his body let out a hiccup that actually pained him a little.

“Maybe you should get some water down you before we tackle that one”

“nu-uh,” Bucky shook his head and then actually hit himself because duh the guy (Steve, his name is Steve) couldn’t see him obviously. “I still need to pee.”

Steve chuckled, “okay you should do that, it was nice talking to you Buck.”

“Wait why can’t you stay?” Bucky was aware _vaguely_ , that he was practically begging a stranger to stay on the phone with him but liquid courage had drained all the shame out of him by now.

“You want me to stay? Whilst you pee?” Steve clarified because what.

“Yeah what else would I mean Steve,” _literally anything else, you would mean literally anything other than asking a stranger to hear you pee but okay,_ Steve thought but he didn’t say that. He was raised with manners.

“Anyway as I was saying Stevie, this cat right has like super fucking senses and I swear it can smell fear..” Bucky spoke as casually as ever whilst cradling the phone in the crook of his and zipping down his jeans.

Steve was very proud to say that he barely thought about Bucky peeing during the whole exchange because he couldn’t really hear it anyway and Bucky’s demon cat stories were actually fucking hilarious, he swears he hasn’t laughed so hard in a long time. And doesn’t that say something about his Saturday night.

Halfway through a tale of how he got banned from Walmart for decorating the aisles with spray cheese, Bucky exclaimed that he was wearing odd socks and seems oddly fascinated by it. “Steve I swear to god okay, it’s weird, look, I’ll send you a picture.”

True to his word, Bucky sends Steve a picture of his feet which are clad in one black sock and one pink sock with flowers on it. Steve laughs so hard, he snorts juice out of his nose.

“James, there you are, we’ve been looking everywhere for you, we’re leaving, Clint just kicked this guy’s ass for not liking The Hunger Games,” the voice belonged to his close friend Natasha who had unashamedly walked straight into the men’s room.

Bucky gasped, a look of pure shock and caution overtook his face, “oh my god Nat this is the men’s room, you can’t be in here, Steve tell her she can’t be in here,” he spoke into the phone in hushed tones.

Natasha rolled her eyes, dealing with drunk Bucky always goes one of two ways, either he’s easily excitable and will do whatever she pleases or he will be a moody bitch that would give PMS a run for its money. Fortunately it seemed to be the former in this case.

Whilst guiding Bucky out of the bathroom and outside, she took his phone off him and spoke to this Steve person on the other end. “Hi yeah, how do you know Bucky?” Natasha knew all of Bucky’s friends because he had about 3 and a Steve was definitely not among them.

“Err, I don’t really. He just called me about.. 40 minutes ago and we’ve been speaking since.” Had it really been 40 minutes. Steve hadn’t realised at all, he was getting carried away by the charming, funny albeit kind of stupid stranger.

“He drunk dialled a complete stranger? Yeah seems dumb enough to be something he’d do. I’ll make sure he doesn’t forget this Steve, good night,” Natasha was actually an expert in embarrassing Bucky, so much so that she could actually make a profession out of it. She wasn’t letting this go anytime soon.

Steve paused for a second, “just make sure he’s okay, please.” He was met with silence which Steve perceived in the worst possible way, “that came out wrong, I’m sure you can take care of him just fine, I mean you know him better and I just met the guy but didn’t like actually meet..”

Unable to listen to him fumble his way through this conversation any longer, she cut him off with a stern yet amused “Steve, don’t worry about offending my delicate sensibilities, he’ll be fine I swear.”

“Okay thank you, Natasha was it?”

“Hmnn, yeah it is, ya know it’s actually pretty cute that you care so much about James here,” the gesture towards Bucky ,who was singing The Killers under his breath, was involuntary and also useless.

“He said he was called Bucky,” Steve’s voice was filled with confusion. This was by far the single weirdest thing that had ever happened to him. With a cryptic ‘I’ll let him explain that one’, Natasha hung up the phone and tried to coax Bucky into the car.

*****

Hangovers are the worst. His head felt groggy, he felt as if something had died in his mouth and Natasha was currently shouting (she may as well have been) in his ear.

Calling the number once again, Bucky shifted nervously in his seat. He remembers what he said, mostly. He’s desperately hoping he has some of it wrong because the world cannot actually be that cruel.

“Oh hey Bucky.” Ah so it is true, he did dial a number he found in a bathroom stall and actually had a seemingly lovely (if the guys- Steve’s- friendly tone was anything to go by) conversation.

Bucky groaned, lightly hitting his head on the armrest of his sofa. “I was half hoping that I hallucinated last night and didn’t actually humiliate myself to a stranger.”

Steve laughed, he remembers the laugh. He still insists that it’s a great laugh. “Sadly not the case.”

“It’s okay Steve, I’ll let you in on a secret, I’m not that cut up about it.” Steve laughed again and Bucky was pretty sure that he now lived for this sound because shit it was infectious.

But then more details of last night flooded his mind and he groaned once again, “shit please tell me that I didn’t pee with you still on the phone.”

“In all fairness,” Steve began, humour evident in his voice, “I was going to hang up but you asked so nicely and how could I say no to that.”

Bucky smiled, a real genuine smile, and shook his head a little in disbelief because trust him to have found the number of a snarky little shit, “punk.”

“Wow hit me where it hurts Bucky, okay I have to ask, your friend last night called you James so where does Bucky come from?” Steve wondered.

Time to show this little shit what he’s made of, “why don’t I take you out for coffee and I’ll tell you all about it.’

 ****

 

Eight months later and Steve and Bucky are moving in together. The story of how they met is still Steve’s favourite to tell despite Bucky’s mild embarrassment.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is basically a telephone conversation, im very sorry but the idea wouldnt leave me alone and i was procrastinating updating a fic


End file.
